Seven days onto the new year, already loads has happened. It was my birthday on Wednesday but that's the subject of another post, or not as there is nothing much to say about it. I got up, had a normal day and went to bed. Quiet, just the way I wanted it.
The reason I have started this post is for a totally different reason, something that has been burning my arse and praying on my mind for a while now. The subject of Bullying. Each and everyone of us has either witnessed or been a victim of bullying, thing is I as a normal human being have no idea what bully's get out of it, is there a sense of achievement in making someone cry or feel bad? Is it a power thing where you need to feel that you are better than someone else and are able to prove it that helps you get through the day or do you get some kind of sick and twisted pleasure out of causing stress and/or pain to your fellow human beings? I hope its not the last one because of it is then you have some serious issues that need addressing.
What most bullys don't realise is that there are a number of things that can happen to their victims. Things that they are directly responsible for causing.
1: The victim turns into a bully. Though this is unlikely in most people as they know only too well what it feels like to be on the receiving end, unless the victim them selves have an underlying problem.
2: They go psycho ape shit, snapping and walk back into their school or workplace with a weapon of one sort or another with only one thought on their mind, to stop the pain. We have all seen the results of this on TV with interviews from people saying how "he was such a quiet person" .
3: Stop the pain #2. Suicide. Need I say any more on this? Again we have all heard the stories of how someone thought this was the only way out. It does get to a point where all you see is pain and at some point they are going to go that bit too far and kill you. So why not retake control of your life and do it your self, at least then "they" won't get the satisfaction if doing it for you.
At this point I should point out that this is not a Guide for the victims of bullying, I'm only pointing out what goes through a victims mind.
4: Withdrawal. The victim withdraws in on them selves, tries not to be noticed, they create their own world where they are in control. An avoidance of any confrontation or situations where confrontation may occur is at first sought then after time avoiding confrontation becomes second nature, to the point where, when they find themselves in a situation where confrontation is likely they will have heart palpitations and probably panic attacks.
The above is not something that will go away after time, some of them can go on for years, for some the effects of bullying can go with them the for the rest of their lives. Any situation, even walking down the street can start your heart pounding.
How much study and how many reports have I read before posting this? Nothing, nothing at all. I was bullied right through school, infants, junior and senior school, every day, day after day so I know from experience what the effects of being a victim of bullying are. I have thought the thoughts above, all of them. The last one I still have issues with now some 26 years after leaving school.
When I was younger I swore that if I ever had children I would do everything I could to make sure they would not go through what I have gone through. History is repeating its self now and my eldest is the victim. So now I need to confront my demons in their ground and go onto situations where there will be confrontation, this way I can make sure my son does not end up walking on my shoes.
They say that your time at school are the happiest of your life, this is not always the case, mine wasn't, it was a living hell. I could go on to name and shame those who made me part of what I am today but I won't. What I will say is Alan, yes you Alan Senior and your mate Michael Collard. No what went on at school was not a school thing, no its not ok now and no, no matter how hard I try I can't just forget about it.
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